My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
