"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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