Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
