i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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