Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
