Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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