Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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