I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
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I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
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My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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