i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
