I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
