oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Can you bring me the toilet please
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
