Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
