I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
