he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
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Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
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There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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