Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
