found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
