Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
