it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
