Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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