Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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