i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Your cock deserves a montage
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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