she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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