It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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