well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have already put on my inside pants.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
