I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
