If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
