a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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