I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I intend to get homeless drunk
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We have started to decorate penises.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
