I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
