its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
