It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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