physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
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