in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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