dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i've created a new STD.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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