i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
