i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
