That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
