pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
