I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My balls are so social today.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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