dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
