Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
