the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
