Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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