Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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