we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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