Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
