Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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