Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
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Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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