Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
