Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
