Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
