i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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