"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
