His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
ugly people sure do ruin things
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Even my vagina gasped.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize