with your own penis?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
