Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
