got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
