Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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