It's Friday. Sex?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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