they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
