How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
