that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
