I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
