Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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