So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
