I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
