so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
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i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
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Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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